The previous blog on relationships should be balanced with another coaching topic on single life. Many people having just left a romantic relationship look to coaching to explore how to use their newly found freedom and time. Other people are just not interested in forming romantic relationships from the get go and will quickly make that clear in tasks such as completing a ‘Wheel of Life.’

Dr Bella DePaulo (2024) wrote an interesting article in Psychology Today titled ‘The truth about why some men stay single.’ I recommend this to all single men. In it she notes that psychologists have found that single people are more active in maintaining their other relationships (with family, friends, and neighbours) than married people, enjoy psychological benefits of solitude, and pursue meaningful passions and work. There may also be a misleading view in the media that men are single because of poor social skills and low self-confidence, when in reality a large number of men just enjoy being single.

What will you do with your single life? A vision board can help (and do not be afraid to change your vision board as you grow and change yourself), but as mentioned, following passions, contributing to your community, hobbies, travel, and time with friends and family are common themes people choose to pursue. Personal growth, work, and improving mental/physical health are often talked about by single men.

Will you regret your choice? Kierkegaard argued that there will come a time in the future that you will look back in your life and examine decisions such as being married or staying single, and you will wonder about the life that you did not choose. Thus, the question to ask is not whether you can avoid regret, but ‘What regret can I live with?’ It may be a good idea to check out another great article by Dr Bella DePaulo (2019) where she looks at stories from single people recounting what they would likely not have been able to do if they were married.

Finally, the idea that single life is a desirable option for you may be hard to accept for others, and religion, culture, and traditions in the land where you grew up may not be very accepting of your decision. If there is a great conflict here causing you anxiety, then a counsellor would be a better option than a coach.