I expected a common life coaching topic to be people looking to gain confidence. It does appear regularly, but where the topic often becomes complex for a person is when they are grappling with being confident in themself without being overconfident.

Most articles and your own experience will tell you that confidence is not a characteristic you are born with, is fluid depending on activity and environment, and is an ability that you have to develop (Psychology Today NZ, n.d.). The challenge is finding a balance between making sure you are not underconfident (not taking enough risk or opportunity) and not overconfident (taking too much risk and possibly being seen as arrogant or reckless) which often comes down to your self-monitoring, input from friends or family, and the how you label your failures and success (internal or external locus of control).

If people ask me for a tool for confidence I would usually suggest journaling, but if that is not working my secret weapon is ‘The Corey Feldman Confidence Check Homework’. Corey performed on the Today Show (NBC) 2016 and a link to the performance can be found on YouTube. The internet exploded with comments, some of them very negative. Whatever your opinion of the performance, I’ve found it provides a useful focal point to the pros and cons of confidence. After examining the footage some people have admired Corey for doing what he loves and unapologetically being confidently himself, others have felt it highlights their fear of being surrounded by ‘Yes Men’ and how risk can lead to humiliation. What are your thoughts? Try the task and talk it over with someone.

REFERENCES

Psychology Today NZ (n.d.). Confidence. https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/basics/confidence